Appreciation for Healthy Parenting

I was at the grocery store today and the cashier’s isle that I was moving into had a young mother in front of me with a young son having a meltdown. He was crying, throwing a temper tantrum, while she was holding toys in her hands that he wanted her to buy. She was calm, patient, quietly talking to him, letting him have his feelings while some people were giving her dirty looks because her child was obviously acting out. She ignored the dirty looks and took care of her child in the most appropriate way possible. Research has shown that children learn by watching behaviors of others, in particular their parents and caregivers. I found myself speaking up and saying “you’re really a good mother. It’s hard to be calm and consistent in a public place when your child is having his feelings. Yet you’re setting your boundaries in a gentle way, allowing him to have his feelings and learn self-control. I just want you to know you’re doing a good job as a mother.”

New Year Makeover

In the US two major New Year’s traditions for many are to go on a diet and to set New Year’s Resolutions. The University of Scranton has said that only 8% of people actually succeed with their New Year’s Resolutions. Business Insider has said that by the second week of February, 80% of New Year’s Resolutions will have already failed. For many people, their inability to maintain their New Year’s Resolution is another hit against their self-image and self-esteem.

Inherited Trauma & Fear

I have been reading Mark Wolynn’s “It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are And How To End The Cycle”.  Wolynn’s core language approach helps people discover the source of their physical and emotional symptoms. By finding the right inherited language it exposes the root traumas and shows the healing tools and images needed to heal, with deep rooted patterns of anxiety, depression, and feelings of emptiness often disappearing  when the psyche is able to truly process the trauma.

Holiday Coping

The holidays for every one of us can be challenging. During the holiday season we have more social commitments, family gatherings, office parties and financial pressures.  Along with the festive season may come feelings of sadness, grief, anger, and/or overwhelm. These emotions can come from past memories and/or from current stress. Healthy eating may be abandoned to unhealthy food and drink choices simply because it’s Christmas or Hanukkah.  Old relationship patterns with family may reemerge and bring up unresolved emotional pain. Changes in your normal routine of sleeping, exercise, and practicing positive coping skills may be affected with you experiencing sleep issues, finding it difficult to fit in exercise, forgetting to practice self care, and not maintaining healthy boundaries.

Are You Feeling Depressed?

At this time of year, many people feel a sense a sadness, gloom or dejection,  which are symptoms of depression. In the course of a lifetime, everyone feels depressed at sometime, however for those that experience sadness a majority of the time or whom feel that their sadness is affecting their life, they may have clinical depression.

Changes in sleep patterns, changes in appetites, feeling lack of energy, feeling fatigued, noticing that you are having difficulty feeling motivated or making decisions, experiencing low self-esteem, and/or feelings of hopelessness are associated with depression.  Depression can occur based upon life events such as the birth of a child (postpartum depression); the loss of a job, a home, a friend, pet or a loved one.  Depression can also occur from changes in brain chemistry, and can be affected by diet. 

Wellness, Mental Health & Mental Illness

One of the reasons I preferred becoming a counselor versus a social worker or psychologist, was because licensed professional counselors place an emphasis on wellness.   Coming from a foundation of wellness, it is important to understand the definitions between health, wellness, mental health and mental illness. In our society the definitions of health, wellness, mental health and mental illness have blurred. Health and wellness often are used interchangeably and yet have quite different meanings. So too with the comparison of mental health and mental illness.  Unfortunately mental health is being used in our society more in alignment with the definition of mental illness then actual mental health, which is why it is important to truly understand the meanings of each of these terms.